3 first steps to take towards forgiveness

In life, we are inevitably going to get hurt.

We're all sinners, and sin breaks things, primarily relationships. We make mistakes that affect others and others that affect us. Often, when we've been hurt or wronged, Our gut reaction is to defend and retaliate, which compounds relational problems.

I'm constantly convicted by Jesus' words in Matthew 5:23-24 - "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." These words seem pretty straightforward to me, but so often, we try to internally justify why they don't apply to "us" or "our situation." None of us can force reconciliation.

Reconciliation requires two parties to act. But we can forgive. Forgiveness requires us. With that said, it takes work. So, what are some of the first steps you can take toward forgiveness today?

1 - Step toward the Lord.

The basis of Christian forgiveness is recognizing that we've been forgiven. Matthew 18:21-35 (The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant) should haunt us all. Every one of us has done terrible wrong by sinning against God. We deserve punishment and death for the things we have done. But God is rich in mercy and has given us hope, life, and forgiveness. If you've experienced forgiveness for your sins, you know that peace that passes understanding. If there is a situation or a person you're struggling to forgive today, remember how you have wronged the Lord. Remember how He extended forgiveness to you when you didn't deserve it.

2 - Step toward humility.

This is not a blanket statement; I KNOW that not every situation is the same. But many times, when it comes to interpersonal conflict, both people bear some level of responsibility. It could be retaliation, or it could be harboring hatred towards someone. But it may be that with some self-examination, you can recognize that you haven't always been perfect toward those who have hurt you. After stepping toward the Lord and thanking Him for how He has forgiven you, ask Him to reveal anything in your heart you need to seek forgiveness "for." We should all approach forgiveness with humility, not a "list of demands."

3 - Step toward peace.

The Apostle Paul said in Romans 12:18 - "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." We can't control responses. We can't control outcomes. We can't control reconciliation. But we can step toward peace "so far as it depends on us." The interesting thing about unforgiveness is that it affects us more than anyone else. It WILL create a root of bitterness in our soul that will poison every area. The best way to live is to live in peace. Peace with the Lord, peace with others, and peace with ourselves.

You may have a person that comes to mind right now that you need to forgive. You may have someone that you need to seek forgiveness from. These words give you a little bit of encouragement to take the first steps. I doubt you'll regret it. As you go, remember Jesus' words in John 16:33—

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."